Best Brother
He was not popular, nor was an attention magnet. He was not
the fans screaming at, nor the one with many revealed talents. He didn't get
many parts yet he actually won in singing contest. He didn't get the 'dancing
machine' yet he could follow the beat. He was not tall in the group yet he was
the oldest. He was the oldest, damn he was sure the oldest in the whole group,
yet he was only a member.
No nicknames, just baozi which means bun. He got it because
of his looks. Sometimes he wanted the world to know his talents, his abilities,
but time hadn't give him the chance. read: the management. He was Korean, yet
he was placed in the Chinese group. It's not like he hated it, he actually had
a friend in the same boat. Language barrier was one of his opponents, and it
made it harder knowing that his Korean friend was learning Mandarin faster than
he was.
Sometimes, he felt the world was unfair to him. He couldn't
speak much, the world hadn't many chance to know more about him. To know how
chatty he was, how he smiled brightly, he laughed hard at jokes. Sadly, he
couldn't understand what they were trying to tell him.
It saddened him, but not for everyone to know. He would go
inside that bathroom and cry his eyes out because of it. But he just went silent,
passing any greetings and chats. He just nodded and smiled shyly. He just
agreed, not knowing what the matter was. He could only follow where the water
flows.
But as rookie group members, they all had faced many worries
and troubles. They tried to be strong, hell they were pasting their smiles on
cameras, bowing non-stop and doing the wavings while they heard their muscles
scaterred like how much pain it caused. Or how they had to sing live while
dancing like robot up stage. How they lost their voice of too much singing and
dancing. They seemed not to worry about it, but muscle fatigue or hip injuries
may take their comfort away afterwards. They tried not to hiss, but sometimes
the pain was just too much that they couldn't focus.
They would sigh, moan, hiss becaused of their fatigued body,
they have the very rights. In the van, while the other would go sighing and
groaning from hectic schedule, one particular Korean at the back seat could
only watch. The pain didn't come to him. He should be glad but he wasn't. He
thought it was his fault. He didn't cover many of Yixing's dance, he couldn't
share his lines with Chen, cover Kris' speech when he was lost of lines,
couldn't show his taekwondo skills when Tao actually had done his wushu like
everytime they perform, couldn't protect Luhan from crazy fans. He felt he was
the one to blame, but he just sat in silence, smiling to them as if it can
reduce the pain, which it cannot.
On particular time after their schedules, they reached their
dorm at midnight. They could feel their legs had turned into jelly, they really
could call the floor as bed. The leader knew he was tired but as their leader,
he needed to cheer them up, like what he had told himself thousand times.
"Let's clean ourselves up and have our rest. Great work today." he
tried to sound happy yet he could only make slurred words from his mouth.
The others just ignored him and went to their living room,
plopping themselves down, leaving the leader and the Korean in the corridor.
The giant went inside his shared room and closed the door. The bun went to the
living room and sat with the others, smiling gently, "Let's clean up,
shall we? Luhan, Tao, you two can use the bathroom now."
"Can't you see we are all sore? I don't think I can
lift myself up anytime soon." Luhan said in his harsh way.
"We are extremely tired, why won't manager hyung and
Kris ge make up that schedule so we won't be this tired?" Chen said in his
hoarse voice, where Yixing got up slowly to fetch his didi a glass of water.
"And tomorrow morning we have to go back to Korea, and
that morning will be 7 a.m. that leave us 5 hours to sleep. Great! Plus one
hour than yesterday's sleep!" Tao added sarcatically.
"And, we will practice the new dance at 9 a.m till dead
midnight." Lay said as he sat beside Chen, giving him the water. Chen
muttered a thanks.
But Xiumin could only smile. His younger brothers were
really tired of their new routines. Having one long holiday would be the best for
them, but he didn't think this option was going to be available soon. He just
sighed and had his genuine smile of his on his face, calming the others down,
"Guys, listen to me, please. Remember why we are here? It has been our
dream, right? The lights, the stage, the attention, the screams. It is God's
gift for 12 of us, we can feel how being upstage, how being famous, and all
that goes with it. We have to be strong. For our dream."
"But hyung, can we just, have a week off or something?
I just wanna lay in my bed or watching TV."
"That time will come soon. And you know what? Tomorrow
is going to be our dance practice day! Don't you all missed that blue sky room?
We can recall the past moments and forget about EXO. It will be just the twelve
of us. How I missed those days." Xiumin said all the way while still
having his sweet smile. The others just held their heads down and nodded in
agreement.
"Yeah, I missed it. I miss the twelve of us sitting
together, sweating like hell, but with smile on our faces when we knew we were
going to debut together. How we learnt those difficult dance steps and how we
recorded the song and playing with its microphone, got scolded from manager
because of that." Lay added. Smile grew on each's face.
"I'll have my shower!" Chen and Lay said in unison,
grin on their faces. They ran toward their respective rooms, leaving Xiumin
chuckling from his younger brothers. The others prepared some ramyun because
the world know how hungry they were.
Xiumin sat on one of the dining chairs until the Mr. Dimple
barged out of his shared room with towel hanging around his neck, worried
expression on his face, "Xiumin hyung, Kris gege wouldn't open the
bathroom door."
Knowing something went wrong, Xiumin hurriedly went inside
Kris' and Lay's shared room and knocked on the white door. No response was
heard from there. His eyes showed worry about the leader. "Kris?" he
knocked again, three times.
"Kris, it's me, Xiumin." Still no response.
"Kris, would you please open the door?"
"Get out of here! I don't want to see your face!"
he yelled out from inside, that made him shocked. He told Lay to find the spare
keys for him and the younger nodded. After handing him the key, Lay walked out
of the room quietly and left those two alone. "I'm going in."
The click was heard and all Xiumin saw was the white tiled
bathroom with a tall Canasian sitting on the cold floor, hugging his knees,
burying his face into them. There were no sobs nor was he shivering. Xiumin
closed the door and sat beside the taller man. "What's wrong, Kris?"
But he was still silent as statue, no movements at all. It
scared him.
"You know you can tell me anything. I'm your
hyung." he said with such comfort along his voice. It made the taller held
his head up, unreadable expression on his face. His eyes were open but he didn't
see anything.
"I'm the one to blame." he managed to say.
"Hm? And why is that?"
"I can hear you. All of you. You said you were tired,
you were exhausted from the schedule. I tried my best not to make it too hectic
but that was the best me and manager hyung could do. I can't manage to keep
your mood up when you are all down...", his body started to shiver. "I
tried my best... to collect myself before I collect all of you. But it seems I
was too slow to do that. I didn't manage to catch you from breaking..." A
tear silently balled up on his eyes, ready to fall down in any second, "Knowing
all of you... losing your voice and having
injuries on your body and I can't do anything about it. It was all
because of me... I'm the one to blame..."
On that second, he burst into tears as he buried his face
into his knees once again. His shoulders shook as his sobs filled the room. His
knuckles went white as he clutch his jeans hard. He was feeling guilty for his
teammates' pain, but Xiumin didn't even predict his leader would sit on the
floor crying like 7 year old boy lost from a fight. Xiumin caressed the
youngers shoulder, trying to comfort him.
"We don't blame you. Not even once. Gosh, it wasn't
even your fault!" Xiumin said with a grin.
"How could it be not my fault?! I-"
He was shut by Xiumin's finger on his plump lips. His wet
red eyes stared straight into the round brown ones. His eye smile calmed him a
bit. They faced each other, Xiumin's thumbs made their way to brush off the
tear streaks on Kris' pink cheeks. "Never think that it was all your
fault. It is our duty to do all the schedules, and we have to take all the
risks." he said in such comfortable voice.
"I know being the leader is hard, but do you know
this?" He sat himself straight against the wall, "You are my model.
Tall, handsome, international dragon who knows many languages, raps, warm,
mature and collected. Your gentle behaviour makes us feeling safe and
comfortable. You are talkative and can befriend with anyone. Well, at least
that's what I see in you."
"Do you really think so?"
"I know so. You are Wu Yifan, the one that all twelve
members had chosen to be our leader. You are not the oldest but you are the one
to be the leader. Once I felt it was unfair because I'm the oldest yet I wasn't
the one to be the leader, but later I know we had made the right choice."
He said, eyes not leaving the shower cube in front of him, his smile never left
its place.
"Xiumin hyung..."
"Hm?" he craned his neck to see his younger
brother who was smiling like an angel he was.
"Thank you. I'm grateful to have a hyung like
you." he managed to say in audible voice, making his hyung grinned.
"Okay! Now, as you had told us, we need to clean
ourselves up! Come on, up, up! Your towel is still on your bed, and don't
forget to apologize to Lay. He was scared because of you."
With a nod, Kris got up and sent him his adorable smile.
Yes, he might not be the one having all the attention, the
one who always at the front line, the one who sing most parts, but the world
know about him being a strong Xiumin. The one who pulled up whoever was down,
the one who brought back the smile when it was lost in sadness. The oldest
always has their ways to collect themselves, and to collect the others. Most of
the time, he was all silent and shy, but you know he was always there to catch
you when you fall. He is the best brother they could ever have.
-END-
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